I Know You All Want to Know

If you've been keeping up with the blog at all, you know we've been trying to get pregnant. And you probably know that we've been having fertility problems and I've been seeing a specialist about it.

This was our first month of trying to get pregnant using fertility meds. We had to go through this with trying to get pregnant with Alena and it worked on the first try. There is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant each month, even with the help of meds, but we were still optimistic that it would happen for us.

Many of you know that I have large cysts on my ovaries. They have been causing me pain and I finally had to go to the dr because of it. What most of you don't know is that I went last Friday and they did an ultrasound and then a blood test to see if I was pregnant. I got a call back (after literally waiting ALL day for the results!) and the dr informed me that it looked slightly positive (!!!) but not to get overly excited because it is still extremely early (I'm not even late for my period yet). Well, of course I was happy to hear that and I tried not to get excited about it over the weekend.

(little tmi here)
Well, come Saturday, as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed my boobs had grown in size (see, tmi). Well, there's very few reasons why that happens for me and pregnancy is one of them. I had it in my mind then and there that I was pregnant.

So come Monday morning and I'm back on my way to the dr. I was much calmer than I should have been and barely nervous. They did another ultrasound and another blood test (those are really getting old). Waited AGAIN all day for the results...

Negative. 

The one word we dreaded hearing. This 2 1/2 year nightmare of trying just continues. I'm rather calm and collected considering the heartbreaking news. Maybe I'm still in denial, hoping and praying that it isn't true and the test was wrong. I won't believe until my period comes to break my heart.


PS - I wrote this blog post on Monday night and now on Tuesday afternoon, I'm editing it. I got my period. :( And I cried about it. I can't be in denial anymore and any hope I had that it could still be positive is gone. Now we continue to try and I start another round of Chlomid.