Wednesday, January 19, 2011

How do you do it?

This is probably the most asked question that I get. Or the "I don't know how you do it." statement.

With Gabe in Iraq and my nearest relatives over 2000 miles away, I don't really know how. The best way to answer the question is that I just take it one day at a time. I have no other choice. With a house to take care of and two kids who are counting on me, giving up is not an option.

The same question and statements have been said about my marriage. We've been married for five years and have spent over half of it apart. We were married in 2005 and have spent (outside of 2008) all or part of every year since then apart. Believe me, it hasn't been easy and we have had a few close calls with calling it quits. But we've never given up and have worked hard at staying close and connected. Being a military wife and a vet myself, I have seen all too many marriages end in divorce due to too much time apart. Just yesterday, I heard the news of a friend (who's husband is currently deployed) getting divorced.

Sometimes, I just want to shout "What is going on here!?!" Marriage and divorce are not something to be taken lightly. They are serious matters. And except for extreme cases, divorce should not be an option. I believe you can work through any problem with hard work and determination. Marriage problems will NEVER solve themselves.

And with that, I would like to say that despite all our separations and problems that we've encountered, our marriage right now is the best it's ever been. And yes, I am bragging. If you've got a great marriage, why would you not want to brag? I'm not ashamed. But I'm not going out and flaunting my marriage in any divorced person's face either.

I have also gotten this question a LOT when it comes to my kids. And frankly, I don't really have an answer for them. We planned both kids and were super stoked when we got pregnant. There are many days where I just want to scream and crawl back into bed. But then there are days where the kids get along and not much goes wrong, and I think about how lucky I am.

So how do I do it? I JUST DO! There's no simpler way of saying it.

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