Noah's Birth Part 2

So back in Part 1, I gave you all the info on the happenings the week before the actual birth and here you can see the actual birth in photos. Now comes the almost movie-like, crazy, and still unbelievable birth. I have to say... any dream or vision I had of having a quiet, easy birth in which I looked absolutely gorgeous went out the window and didn't even cross my mind until after the fact and I could look back and think "Crap! My hair's a mess and I was not supposed to be screaming like that!".

Tuesday, after trying the Pitocin shots and "laboring" all day, I was exhausted. I was also feeling a little upset that I used Pitocin, defeated that it didn't work, angry that it had come to this point, and pressured to have this baby because my mother in law was here. Not to mention that my stomach was now feeling upset and nauseous.

I went to bed that night feeling a slight sense of relief that I would get a full night's rest and could wake up in the morning feeling a little less pressure to "make" the baby come. HAH! Little did I know what I was in store for!

Shortly after falling asleep (maybe 11pm?), I started having contractions again. I figured they would end up like every other time. Just be annoying enough to not get great sleep and then taper off by morning. But these were persistent and getting stronger. By about 2am I just couldn't take it any longer. I had to focus and laying in bed trying to be quiet was just not an option anymore. I knew Gabe had to be up around 4 to take his mother to the airport so I wanted to let him sleep.

I went out into the living room where I started timing and laboring/moaning through each contraction. I was most comfortable standing bent over the arm of the couch and swaying back and forth during contractions. But I was so exhausted and tired after not having slept in over 36 hours at this point that I just couldn't keep standing. I sat on the couch and tried to sleep between contractions which were 5-7 minutes apart. I so badly wanted to wake Gabe up but he had about a 3 hour round trip drive coming up and I knew he needed the sleep. I was still in denial that this was actual labor!

Some time around 4am I went back to the bedroom to wake up Gabe. As I stood hunched over the edge of the bed during another contraction, I was secretly hating him for being able to sleep peacefully and pain-free. I woke him up and told him what was going on. His first suggestion was to call the midwife. I wanted to wait some more but I was in so much pain that I couldn't even put up a fight. Diane, the midwife, let us know that she would stay up now and to call if the contractions got any closer together. Gabe didn't want to leave me but it was too late to call a shuttle service so reluctantly, he left me to keep laboring and we prayed the baby would stay in long enough for him to make it back home.

The next 2 1/2 hours were a big blur of pain and contractions. I was still not sure if I was really in labor (if it was during the daytime, I think I would have said it was labor) because we had already had 3 false alarms during the night. I had to moan through each contraction and the closer together and more painful they got, the louder I was moaning. I prayed each time to just get through this one and make it to the next one.

I kept timing the contractions and labored some more in the living room hoping my moaning wouldn't wake up the kids. While out there, I texted just two words to our birth photographer hoping she would get the message and come. "In labor" was all it said. I got in the shower hoping that would help but after some time, my body was shaking so bad I had to get out. I didn't even get dressed and just threw on my robe. Gabe called and I was desperate to have him home. He still had an hour's drive left.

While on the phone, I got nauseous and threw up. That was the point where I knew it was serious and I had to call the midwife. The only thing I said was "My contractions are 3-5 minutes apart and I just threw up." All she said was "I'm on my way." and hung up. This was where I started to panic; praying someone would get here on time. Labor is no joke. But laboring on my own is something I wouldn't ever want to do again.

The pain was so intense it was hard to stay calm and breathe. I called Gabe again desperately hoping he was almost home. I didn't even want to talk to him, I just needed to not feel alone. I was in the bedroom not knowing what to do anymore when Gabe walked in. The poor guy also had no clue what to do. Thankfully, the midwife showed up right behind him. She checked me and let us know that I was a loose nine. "What?!" was all I could say. I was both relieved and shocked. I couldn't believe I was finally going to have the baby!

Diane, her assistant, and Gabe all went to work setting up the birth pool and getting supplies ready while I laid on the bed laboring. The kids woke up at this point, increasing the chaos that was happening. They were excited to hear the baby was coming and they would get to stay home from school.

I got in the birth pool and my contractions started spacing out a bit. Diane let me know that's normal for a fully dilated woman. She asked me to try pushing a little. I did and let me tell you... it was even more painful and definitely not a relief like some women describe it! I was trying to get through the contractions and let them bring the baby down for a while. But I was getting impatient so I started pushing. And pushing and pushing! I couldn't believe how much pushing I was doing and still no baby. I remember asking screaming "Where is this baby?! I want it out!" Yeah, I was such a peach to be around...

With each push, the midwife, her assistant, and Gabe were offering words of support and encouragement about how good I was doing, how the baby was moving down, and I was almost done. The poor dears... I yelled back "No I'm not! Stop saying that!" Yes, I really did. Just keeping it real here.

During all my pushing, Diane occasionally checked me. Twice, she found a small cervical lip that she helped to move out of the way. We thought my water had broken because she couldn't feel a bulging of my water bag but it turned out that it still had not broken.

I was getting increasingly upset and feeling more and more like a failure. I needed a break. So I stopped pushing and moaned through the contractions and actually managed to fall asleep between them. After about 30 minutes, I got a burst of energy/desperation and started pushing with all my might. It hurt like hell and I just wanted it all to be over. I'm pretty sure I also yelled at the baby "Where are you? Get out!"

Diane checked me and we found out at that point that my water still had not broken. She was surprised because she had never felt it before and thought it had broken by itself some time before that. We thought that was holding the baby back so the next time I pushed, she broke my water. She was also trying to help stretch my perineum to help me out but it felt weird and was more pain on top of what I was already feeling so I yelled at her to stop. Looking back, I'm embarrassed for yelling at them so much. They were cool about it though and I'm sure I'm not the only woman in labor who's yelled at them.

I pushed some more and again lost my energy so I said I was taking another break. A contraction came and I rolled to my left side and started moaning through it. That's when almost instantly I felt what is known as the "ring of fire" and a head between my legs. I reached both hands out and grabbed with all my might the closest things to me which happened to be the assistant's and Gabe's hands. My moan turned into a full out roar. I remember thinking/saying "Oh my God! It burns! It hurts!" Followed by more roaring. I'm talking about a roar so loud I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call the cops.

Diane told me to open my legs because the baby was coming. I rolled over and gave a big push, looked down and there it was... the head. I was FINALLY at the end! Alena was excitedly squealing "There's the baby!" over and over. Another push and I could see his face. In that moment, I forgot everything and could only focus on that sweet face. One more big push and the rest of the body was out. Immediately, a million and one emotions overtook me and I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. I'm almost sure I did an odd mixture of the two. I was quite the hot mess. Christian came back into the room after having walked out bored just five minutes before that.

I distinctly remember and will never forget the feeling of pushing the baby out. The pain of getting the head out, the very odd sensation of feeling every body part after that slide out, and joy of holding him for the first time.

I was holding him and he gave out one little cry and then just laid there on my chest quiet and alert while we let the cord stop pulsing. I never even thought to check if it was a boy or girl until Alena asked us. I looked and to my complete surprise it was a boy! Christian was happy to have a brother and Alena cried "I wanted a sister!"

With the next contraction my placenta came out (another weird feeling). We cut the cord and Gabe took him to dry off. The midwife helped me get up and climb into bed. I was still having contractions (which is normal) and was surprised at how painful they were! I felt lied to because everyone always said you forget the pain or it goes away as soon as the baby is out but that's not true. At this point with the older kids my epidural hadn't worn off yet so I never experienced the after pains.

Gabe brought Noah back so I could try and nurse him. He wasn't interested so the midwife weighed him. Gabe guessed 7lbs 4oz, I guessed 7lbs 2oz. He was 7lbs 3oz; right in the middle.

I was dead tired and on the verge of falling into a deep sleep. There was no happy birth high, no energy, nothing. I had been up for two days straight and wanted nothing more than to sleep and rest. Gabe brought me the baby and a sandwich of which I only managed a couple of bites. Our first nursing session was done lying down and with me falling asleep in the middle of it. Both the baby and I had been through quite an experience and we spent the rest of the day in bed asleep.

It's still a little unreal to look back on how it happened that day. I must have pictured the labor and birth a thousand different ways and nothing went how I thought it would! Still, I'm proud of myself for doing it the way we wanted. 100% natural, at home, and a perfect baby.

Noah's Birth Part 1 - False Alarms

I had spent the past 9+ months of pregnancy picturing and dreaming of how this home birth would go and none of them were ever remotely close to what actually happened! Isn't that just how life is? Throwing us curve balls the whole way. I have to start this birth story a whole week before he actually arrived because he fooled us THREE times before making up his mind.

Tuesday, April 9th - Gabe's mom had flown in the day before to come help out for after the baby came. She suggested that because this might be our last night without a baby, we should go out one last time. We took her up on her offer and left for the movies. GI Joe, yes please! While in the theater, I started having contractions every fifteen minutes. Afterwards, we thought we'd keep them coming by walking. Walmart was all that was open so we headed there and walked and walked.

I quickly become the talk of the cashiers and stockers as the "lady walking her baby out". It was like having our own personal cheerleaders. The contractions got as close as every 10 minutes and after walking for almost an hour and a half, I was beat and needed to stop. So we headed home and went to bed. I contracted on and off through the night.

I called the midwife in the morning and let her know what was happening. Her and her assistant thought I was in labor so they came over with all their gear. I told Gabe to go to work and I would call him when/if I needed him to come home. I was checked and Diane (my midwife) let me know that I was dilated to a four! It was around 9am at that time and I informed them that contractions had pretty much stopped and I hadn't had hardly any since 7am. Diane swept my membranes and we were all sure it would be happening sometime later that day. Diane and her assistant left and we were left waiting for something to happen. It never did. :(

Saturday, April 13th - Fast forward a few days and the baby was still not here. We were getting antsy because Gabe's mom was supposed to be leaving the following Wednesday. She had come to help out with the kids and house after the baby and how was that supposed to happen if he wasn't here yet?! We decided to go out for dinner and headed to Texas Road House. Fresh rolls, yes please!

During dinner, I was having regular contractions about every 10 minutes and they were stronger than previous days. We were getting excited. We went home and Gabe's mom headed straight to the bathroom sick to her stomach. "Perfect timing for this baby to come", I thought. Again, I had contractions throughout the night and had to focus through some of them. But just as before, by 7-8am they died down and we were left waiting yet again.

Monday, April 15th - When is this baby going to come?! That was what was going through everyone's mind. I was almost two weeks past my (cycle) due date and Gabe's mom was leaving in two days. I had an appointment with the midwife at noon and I was going to receive her special homeopathic "labor concoction" that works on 75% of her patients. Well, I was willing to try almost anything at that point because nothing else had worked and we had tried almost every natural method so far (sex, walking, squats, dancing (busted out our DDR!), nipple stimulation, evening primrose oil, sweeping the membranes, and more). Diane did a cervical check and this time I was at almost 6cm but STILL NOT IN LABOR! I took her concoction and she mentioned another method that was a little more invasive but almost always did the trick. It was a small shot of Pitocin in the arm that would give you contractions for a little bit and "jump starts" your labor. Basically, tricking my body into thinking it was in labor so by the time the shot wore off, your body takes over. Pitocin was not what I wanted but knowing that Diane could not legally let me have a home birth after 42 weeks (just 2 days from now), I agreed. The shot BURNED and felt like a giant bee sting. I started contracting almost right away so she sent me home to wait it out and call in an hour to report what was happening. We got home and surprise surprise, the contractions slowed and basically stopped again. So another day passes with no baby.

Tuesday, April 16th - (also written about here) Down to our final day with my MIL there and our final two days of a home birth option, Diane came over to the house Tuesday morning to try the Pitocin shots again. I had contracted through the night again and told Gabe to stay home because I'm either in labor or it was going to be that day since Diane was coming. We took the first shot around 9am and again contracted right away and waited them out. An hour and half later, they had died down and we went for shot #2. Again, no success. Diane asked us if we wanted to go for shot #3 (we were all skeptical that it would actually work) and that she gives no more than three shots because it's never taken more than three to have a woman go in labor and if it doesn't happen by then, it wasn't meant to happen yet. I was checked and was a stretchy 6cm. So we reluctantly went for it. By now, I had been contracting on and off for over 24 hours and I was just plain worn out. Shot #3 didn't take and we all just felt defeated. I was upset that it had come down to me having to choose between Pitocin shots for a home birth or having to go to the hospital to give birth. Gabe was upset it didn't happen with his mom here (since she did come to help us for after the birth) and he had wasted a vacation day. Gabe's mom was upset for obvious reasons. Also, we had let Alena stay home from school because she wanted to be there for the birth.

Part 2 to follow... That's where it gets crazy!

Birth in Pictures (graphic warning)

*If you do not wish to see blood or birth, then I suggest you leave the page before you see these pictures.

I'm in the process of writing out the birth story (it's long, emotional, and taking me a while to process everything that happened) so until then, here's the actual birth in pictures. I've been documenting everything about the pregnancy and not holding anything back. The birth isn't any different.

These photos show the raw emotion and pain that was happening in the moment. And that first picture might be my fave! Everything from the pain of pushing, the happy looks on Gabe and Alena's face, to the poor midwife's assistant's face as I squeeze the life out of her hand. I also love that you can actually see my belly getting smaller as he makes his entrance into the world.

My first glimpse at his head.

Get out baby!

One final big push!

Wow, this feels weird. Here he comes!

AHH! There he is!

What a relief!

I did it!

Pure, raw, emotional pain and love.

Pray for TODAY

This week, I hit (according to my cycle dates) 42 weeks. If I want a home birth, it has to happen by my 42nd week.

I've had three close calls where we thought I might be having the baby but every time the contractions end up dying down.

Yesterday, my midwife gave me a small dose shot of pitocin to see if we can trick my body into thinking it was in labor. After an hour the contractions died down. Then in the later evening, Gabe and I went walking through Target and Walmart. I had good contractions going. I ended up with a pain in (TMI) my vagina which was the baby's head descending. Eventually, I couldn't walk through the contractions and a few I had to breathe through.

We came home and they continued. I went to bed and had restless sleep. That was because I was having contractions! At around 5am I woke up actually breathing through a contraction! I kept having good contractions that hurt and that I had to breathe through every 10-12 min. A little after 6am, I told Gabe to stay home from work. This is it. By 7am, they were dying down and fizzling out. :(

The midwife came at about 9am and gave me a shot of pitocin and just like yesterday, they started dying down after a half hour or so. I just received a second dose and am having strong contractions lasting 50-55. Unfortunately, this dose is also starting to fizzle out a little.

Please say some prayers that it will continue and we will soon be holding our baby.

My To-Do List

As prepared as I think we are, we really are not. Who am I kidding; is anyone ever really ready when the baby comes?

1. Wash baby clothes - I did get boy and girl newborn clothes out today and picked some out of each to have washed and ready.
2. Rearrange bedroom furniture - This needs to be done in order to make enough room for the birth pool to be in the bedroom with room to walk around it.
3. Make laundry detergent - I've decided since we're using cloth diapers, making my own detergent would be better for sensitive baby skin, not to mention cheaper.
4. Clean the house and get it baby ready - Let's face it... This may not happen.
5. Do a month's worth of grocery shopping - I'm hoping to avoid having to send Gabe out to grab a few things because we all know what happens when husbands do the grocery shopping...
6. Plan easy meals -  I want meals that take minimal effort and are easy.
7. Install car seat - I'd like to avoid spending 30 minutes trying to install it when we're supposed to be going somewhere.
8. Make sure everything (cameras, phones, spare batteries) are charged and there are chargers easily accessible if needed.
9. Have list of "Who to Call" when labor starts - or better yet, have a phone tree so we only need to make one phone call/text.
10. Get a backup to pick up Alena in case I'm at home in labor 
11. And last but not least - RELAX! Remember that I CAN and WILL do it!

What am I missing? I just feel that there is something big that I am forgetting?

Why I'm Choosing a Home Birth

(Please note - This is a heated subject for me and I may get off track and start ranting. This post will also be long. This is not a post made to put anyone down. I'm really trying to educate others so they can stand up for what they want and have the labor that every woman deserves.)

I am choosing to birth this next baby at home for several different reasons. 
1. Maternity care now a days is... to put it gently... lacking. 
2. I want to have a natural birth where I don't have to be constantly monitored, don't have to have an IV, I can move around as much as I want and in any position I want, I can eat and drink during labor, I make the decisions, I can labor on my own time frame and not the dr's, and I will not be pressured to do something I don't want to.
3. There will be no unnecessary interventions. (pitocin, epidural, forceps, c-section, etc)
4. I will give birth in a place I am comfortable, with people I love, with a midwife who is there the whole time, in a calm and loving atmosphere, and I never have to leave the house.

Let's compare how the maternity care OB's and hospitals give us today with the care midwives give...

You see your OB or their partners throughout your pregnancy (most likely you'll see multiple dr's), they'll come in and check your stats and leave before you have time to ask any questions (If you get the chance to ask them, it's not a lot of time or they'll have you ask the nurse.); they're likely to mention induction or stripping your membranes, many times doing it as early as 37-38 weeks.

2 out of 3 first time moms are induced. You'll go in either the night before or the morning of where you'll be monitored all night after they insert a drug (Cervidil or something similar) to start thinning your cervix; they'll start pitocin after a while, upping its dose as often as every half hour; they'll want to monitor the baby therefore leaving you to labor on your back in bed most of the time; you don't make much progress and the pain is unbearable so you ask for the epidural; you get relief but are then stuck to the bed being constantly monitored; nurses and the dr will check your dilation often; then one of four things will happen...
1. You'll be lucky and progress to fully dilated and push the baby out on your own.
2. You progress and push for an hour or more, dr uses forceps or vacuum, or they claim they NEED to do a c-section and give you the excuse that your baby is too big or that you just can't birth vaginally leaving you to believe that your body can't do what it was made to do.
3. Your labor slows with the epidural and you don't progress fast enough so the Dr claims they NEED to do a c-section with the excuse of Failure to Progress.
4. Your baby's heart rate slows and they rush in saying you NEED the c-section in order to save your baby.
(Note - it will go the same way for those who start labor on their own, starting with the pitocin part.)

Now, how many of you had one of those labors? I'll tell you, I had #1 for both of mine and I consider myself very lucky. I was induced with both, Cervidil, then pitocin, followed by the breaking of my water, epidural, and pushing them out in 10 and 3 minutes (See? LUCKY)

Here's how your midwife care will go...

You will either go to your midwife or they will come to your home for prenatal care; they will check you and baby and talk with you about your questions; you'll discuss a labor plan and they try to stick with it as best they can; during labor (either in your home or hospital) they will monitor baby as much or little as you would like (the same for checking dilation), let you move around and labor how you choose, and support you throughout the whole experience, never leaving your side; and after birthing your baby, they will let you spend time with the baby before bathing and weighing them. You will not be pressured to take pain medications and there will be no unnecessary interventions because they trust you and your body and know you can do it. If problems during labor do arise, they will try to fix them without the use of technological or medical interventions first. If the baby's heart rate is dropping, they will have you change positions to see if that helps. If you are slow to dilate, there are cervical massages or different relaxation techniques they will try. If they try everything, and it is not working, then a midwife will take more drastic measures (transfer to a hospital, pitocin, etc). Most midwives have a less than 5% c-section rate! (as compared to the 30+% nationwide for OBs in the hospital)

So you tell me truthfully, which kind of prenatal care and labor would you rather have?

OBs are trained to think of birth as a medical event, whereas midwives think of birth as a natural life event.

Birth IS natural and in a normal pregnancy, there is no reason a woman should not have the chance and time to give birth naturally. Dr's run on a clock and to them labor can not take more than 24 hours. If it goes over that, they get worried and most women end up with a c-section. Hence why they are pumping you full of pitocin to "speed things up". Let me clear something up for you... Many first labors last longer than 12 hours, even more than 24 hours. The main reason drs get concerned if your labor lasts longer than 24 hours is your risk for infections. You get infections by foreign things entering your vagina (nurses and your dr constantly checking your cervix for dilation). If checks are kept to a minimum, chances of infections are virtually non existent.

There is a reason midwives have such GREAT statistics when it comes to labors. To me, it really comes down to trust, care, and patience. They trust the laboring woman's body to give birth, they care about her and the baby's wants and needs, and they have patience and understanding the a baby will come when it is ready and all women labor in their own time frame. There is NO reason to rush a normal labor!

I've heard a lot of people say "Well of course the midwives have better stats. They have less patients so they're numbers are going to be lower!"
Yes, they have less patients (midwives attend less than 10% of births), but this is not the reason for lower induction and c-section rates!

Maternity care in the hospitals is a business. The more people they can get in and out of there, the better the business is doing. Time limits and c-sections are NOT THE ANSWER! When more than one out of every three women are getting c-sections, something is not right! There is no way in hell that many women are incapable of delivering a healthy baby, vaginally. Drs and hospitals need to change what they are doing. A 30+% c-section rate is disgusting. They need to stop lying to these women and stop making them feel as if their bodies are dysfunctional and inadequate.

And VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) are actually SAFER than a repeat c-section! Telling women a VBAC is too risky is a HUGE lie drs tell women. 75-80% of women who are given a proper chance at a VBAC go on to have a successful and healthy birth!

We as women need to start demanding better care! Or else nothing will ever change.

I'm trying to help change things by constantly putting facts out there (usually via my facebook and blog) and by choosing a midwife and home birth. If I can even help one woman have a successful birth that goes how they wanted, I'll be happy.

All I can do is put the facts out there and pray that someone listens...

On another note: I am fully aware that some women labor differently than the scenarios that I put up. I am putting up the most common births. This is my page and if you don't like what I have to say, you don't have to read it. Also, if you get offended or start to feel guilty about your own labor, don't blame me. You need to deal with your issues and educate yourself so your next labor can be an enjoyable experience. I'm not writing this to put anyone down about how they chose to labor. I am also aware that there are women out there that just don't want to labor without pain meds.

I also urge any woman who will ever have a baby, to read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. There are many many birth stories and facts in there. The book has been helping me to feel empowered and excited about my upcoming labor and birth.

Can You Think of Any More?

So I have decided since before I was pregnant that this next child would be born at home (post coming up on that soon). There aren't many midwives in this area, but I know that one of them will be a good fit for me. I've come up with a list of questions to ask them before I decide which one to use. Gabe suggested I put them up here and see if you can come up with any more good questions.

So what questions am I forgetting?

How many clients do you normally take/have at a time?

What kind of prenatal care do you provide? (ultrasounds, testing)

Do you allow home births?

At what point to you come to the house when the woman is in labor?

How do you feel about inducing?

How do you feel about c-sections?

I want to go into labor on my own. At what point do you decide it’s best to induce?

What do you provide during labor? (tub, birthing ball)

Outside of drugs, do you do any sort of pain management? (breathing, massage)

Do you follow the woman’s cue during pregnancy and labor or do you take over and decide what is best?

Do you allow eating while in labor?

What kind of role do you allow the father to play in the birth? (catching the baby)

Do you allow your clients to wait until the cord stops pulsating before cutting?

Do you allow immediate bonding between mother and baby before cleaning and checking the baby? (breastfeeding)

Do you allow siblings to witness/participate in the birth?

If there is a complication, what is your priority? (mother or baby)

Do you have any assistants who attend the births also?

Insurance?

How much do you charge?